A Thing of Nothing: Shakespeare anatomy joke

In a Shakespeare anatomy joke, men have a “thing” between their legs; women have a “nothing.” So “Much Ado about Nothing” jokes about female anatomy and the wooing, wedding, & bedding of women. Much ado.

Yet when Hamlet says,
“The king is a thing [...] of nothing” (4.2),
No Fear Shakespeare paraphrases it, “...of no importance.”
That's (G-rated) meaning #1.

Some critics say “...of nothing” is nihilist:
Monarchy as existential nothingness!
"Not to be"!
Meaning #2 (similar, philosophical) .

In Christian doctrine,
the church claims God created the heavens & earth
out of nothing, not out of preexisting stuff.
So Claudius echoes creation:
A "thing" out of nothing.
Meaning #3 (theological/cosmological).

It could also mean
the king is a male (with a thing/phallus),
born of a woman’s “nothing.”
Meaning #4 (biological).

Some of these may be examples of "overthink" (Hamlet:
"thinking too precisely on the event").

But the "Much Ado" code implies
that Hamlet means
"The king is a penis of vagina."

Meaning #5 (sex joke/insult):
In English/American slang,
Uncle Claudius is a cunt-fucking (or mother-fucking) dick:
a thing (penis) of Gertrude's nothing (vagina).
Hmmm... OK.

Next question:
What does this mean for the play?

For starters: Skip #5, and you diminish Hamlet's rage . . . .

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Links to a description of my book project:
On LinkedIn: https://lnkd.in/eJGBtqV
On this blog: https://pauladrianfried.blogspot.com/2017/05/hamlets-bible-my-book-project-im.html

[Originally posted around the week of 8/21/17 on LinkedIn]